26th
The way it is
Every time I get mad about it- I just remember Dr. Seuss’s quote “Don’t be sad because it’s over, be happy because it happened.” But it really sucks when people you know become people you knew, ya know?
It’s getting easier everyday, but something will always be there. I will never forget how much Bryan helped me….
I wouldn’t say that I don’t care, because I do; I really do, but…. I lost one friend and gained about 3. Two of them are just friends, but Randy seems to be the one I talk to for advice anyways. I like having an older friend…. they’re great mentors and I think Randy is better anyways since we have a lot more in common than Bryan and I do….. a lot. haha
And of course there is that special person who will remain nameless. :-) Things are getting better.
I had a dream last night (like I don’t every night =]); I don’t think I’ve mentioned him on my blog yet, but he was on my myspace for a long time. Anyways, I find that my dreams are really insightful to my life, and whenever I need help this guy Chris comes to me in my dreams and always helps me make the right decision.
So, in my dream I was in the middle of a dark, swampy bog. I was running around, trying to escape but the branches were so entwined and thorny that I could not escape. I gave up and sat in the middle of the wet ground. I was all curled up with my arms locked around my legs. My whole body was covered with cuts, bruises, and dirt. I was blind, deaf, and mute.
Then out of nowhere, I look up and Chris is standing there with his hand extended. I realized that he is there and slowly gab his hand and he helps me up. Chris turns and with a wave of his hand a path from the dark, dirty bog opened up to reveal a peaceful and green forest. Chris pushed me gently into the forest and the bog behind me disappeared. He said to me, “Here are the answers you are looking for.”
Chris stood behind me, hands on my shoulders. From the path a familiar friend faded in and walked toward me: Sami gave me the bracelet I had lost a year ago. She kissed my cheek and dispersed. Brooke was next and she sang to me and gave me my voice back. Samantha came to me and handed me a pen. Shannon was next…. she kissed my eyes and I was no longer blind. Madisen walked up to me and handed me a photograph of us. Riana walked next- she gave me a light. Kirstie was next; she leaned into my ear and said “You” and I was no longer deaf. Randy came next, and he healed my cuts and bruises and the dirt disappeared.
After Randy dispersed, 5 people came up to me all at once: Chad, Jayson, Nikole, Bryan, and Hunter. These people didn’t give me something. Instead, they stared at me for a moment, turned around, and gently faded away.
Chris then said, “There you go.” And I woke up
